It’s More than Parenting Techniques

It’s More than Parenting Techniques

It can get really complicated parenting a teenage girl. That’s why parenting techniques often feel insufficient and ineffective.

It was definitely easier to discipline when she was little. If your little princess didn’t want to clean her room you could give her a choice. “Sweetie, I’m going to give you a choice. You can clean your room and get to watch your favorite Disney movie, or you can go to bed now.” Pretty good chance she would clean her room.

Your daughter has gotten a lot smarter since then and probably sassier.

It gets a lot more complicated because the stakes are higher and it impacts you emotionally.

What happens inside you when you find out…

  • Your daughter snuck out in the middle of the night to see her boyfriend.
  • She is failing 2 classes.
  • She tells you she hates you after you have had one of her friends spend the night and you have taken her shopping.
  • You find out she didn’t spend the night with her friend and went to the party instead.
  • She had unprotected sex.
  • She cut on herself and tells you it’s your fault.
  • She’s been sexting kids at school.
  • She gives you one word answers and hides out in her room.
  • She has done weed with her boyfriend.
  • She was supposed to be home at 12 and she doesn’t come home at 3am.

See, you are not just dealing with her behavior, you are dealing with her behavior times 100. I’ll tell you why.

Let’s take one of the simpler ones.

She is failing 2 classes.

It’s not just that she is failing 2 classes it’s all the other stuff that comes up because she is failing 2 classes.

  • It’s the fear that her grade point average is going to drop and she won’t get a scholarship or into the college of her choice.
  • It’s all the disrespectful things she has said to you. Every time you offer some suggestions she attacks you or storms out of the room.
  • It’s the feeling of being betrayed.
  • It’s the feeling of losing your connection with your daughter.
  • It’s the feeling of being disrespected. I would have never said that to my mom.
  • This brings up the feeling of being a failure. If I had done what I was supposed to she would be making good grades. I’m doing something wrong.
  • This brings up the feeling of shame. There is something wrong with me or my daughter.
  • This brings up the feeling of resentment. Why is it all on my shoulders? Why won’t her dad do something about this? Why is she nice to her dad and mean to me?
  • This brings up the feeling of being stuck. This is not the life I would have ever chosen for myself.

Now think about this.

You are not just trying to solve the problem of your daughter’s failing grades. You have a hundred more problems to deal with sorting relationship stuff and your feelings.

This is why I say parenting a teenage girl is not for wimps.

Here’s the point. You can’t ignore these feelings. You have to work through them. If you try to push them away, well, it’s like trying to push the beach ball down deep into the water. It won’t stay down. The beach ball is going to pop back up.

And for moms these feelings are going to pop back up in a nano-second. One more little sassy attitude and BOOM the feelings are back.

When you just focus on parenting techniques, it leaves your heart and soul out of the equation.

The connection between a mother and daughter is very powerful. It’s impossible to not affect your emotions.

The irony is you need information and strategy to transform these negative out-of-control feelings into a centered, focused, creative, wise, and practical power.

February 24th I am starting my Power Your Parenting program. It’s a 7 week program designed to deal with the whole person of mom, not just the techniques. It’s designed to bring peace to all the suffering and fear. It doesn’t have to all be on your shoulders. You get encouragement, practical information, and individual attention from me. You will also get support from other like-minded moms. Combining over 25 years of experience I have created a program that will turn your relationship around with your daughter and help you love the teenage years. This is the last time I am offering this program this year. For more information hit reply or leave me a message and I will send you more information.

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