After reading 25 parenting books for teens, here’s what I know…”

After reading 25 parenting books for teens, here’s what I know…”

Parenting BooksI have read over 25 parenting books for teens in the past couple of years in preparation for writing my book.

For a while it felt like, I’d get a package from Amazon every week. My daughter was always disappointed to see another parenting book. In fact, a couple of years ago I had a huge stack of parenting books sitting in my room. My daughter walked in the room and said, “Mom, am I that difficult a child, that you would need to read twenty parenting books?” I smiled and gave her a hug and said, “believe it or not, this is not about you.”

There are many great books for teens, but after reading 25 of them, here’s what I found out. There’s not a lot for moms. Yes, these books give important information on how to handle teenage issues, and how to talk with your teen. There are wonderful books on the teenage brain, that help you understand why they act that way.

But parenting your teenage daughter really starts with you. I love this quote from Brene Brown in her latest book Daring Greatly,

“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way? as it is: “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?” (If you haven’t read this book I strongly recommend it.)

But here’s the problem.

Mothers historically have felt blamed and shamed for everything that’s gone wrong in the family.

Also, mothers are swamped, exhausted, and are ready to go ballistic if one more person gives them something to do.

But here’s Brene’s challenge. “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”

Remember the saying that if moms not happy then nobody’s happy. Well it’s true! Just ask your husband, or kids.

If you are not enjoying your life, it’s not your fault. There are messages embedded in the culture that set you up for failure.

If you are honest, many of you are not enjoying your life right now. That’s why your teenage daughter acts as a trigger, to wake you up from a life of overwhelm and drudgery.

Here’s why.

Your daughter is getting lots of good attention. She has no trouble planning fun social engagements. She is ready for the next adventure. She goes on fun trips with her school or youth group. She has no problem spending your money on the latest fashions and the finest foods. She feels entitled to have the best lessons and opportunities, and be coached and taught by the best. She’s jazzed after winning her game, dancing in the competition, or singing in the musical. And then there is plenty of romance and drama, but it is all exciting. She eats a ton of yellow food, like cheetos, queso, mac and cheese, and still has no cellulite on her skinny little legs.

And how about you, do you have a life?

This is a tough time for moms. Many of you are dealing with aging parents, and increased financial pressures. You have more responsibility at work, home, and community. Little by little, time for you disappears. It seems like everyone else is driving your life and leaving their leftovers on your ever growing plate…it’s easy to get resentful.

So what happens when stressed out resentful mom meets happy, moody, social, entitled teenager. Well, it’s not pretty.

Here is the good news. You don’t need any more blame or more things to do, but you do need to get your whole wonderful life back.

I mean the kind of life, where you totally feel like yourself, and you have that ‘I feel good’ energy. The kind of life where you are clear about what you want for you and your daughter. You no longer feel like you are living in a fog.

When mom is happy, everyone in her family benefits.

You can’t be happy if you neglect your physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual needs.
Plus, you can’t guide and protect your daughter if you have no energy and you are utterly exhausted.

Many moms will say yes that makes sense, but it is impossible. They’ll tell me, “I have no idea where to start and I have no idea what I want.”

Yes it is possible for you, but you need a guide. You need someone who has been there and has the knowledge, experience and strategy to get you where you want to go.

This is why I am offering you my Power Your Parenting program.

  • If you are ready to feel like yourself again and be happy…
  • If you are ready to get your energy back and love your life…
  • If you are ready to know what you want and have a strategy to get there…
  • If you want to have a great relationship with your teenage daughter, be fully engaged, and not miss one moment of these precious years with your daughter…
  • Then you do not want to miss my Power Your parenting Program.

It’s starting next week. I have a few spaces. Hit reply, and I will send you information.

Don’t miss this chance to transform your life and your relationship with your daughter.

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  • Terrific article, Colleen. This articulates what I have been trying to get across to younger women for years.

    As a woman who grew up in the 70’s, I believed in the opportunities finally opening up to women. Then I watched as society started insisting more and more that not only do we need to have fulfilling jobs and careers, but that someone be with our children 24/7 (part of our fear-based culture).

    That doesn’t leave much time for self-care, much less self-fulfillment! That’s why I see so many women hitting perimenopause with adrenal fatigue, mental burnout, and a host of physical, mental and emotional symptoms.

    February 26, 2013 at 1:11 pm
  • Sara Keleher

    Sounds intrigung – What is involved- time and cost?

    Many thanks,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:29 pm

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