Anything Is Possible If You Stop and Ask For Directions
Have you ever been in this situation? You are in the passenger seat and someone else is driving. (Maybe your husband) He thought he knew where he was going but you end up driving around in circles. And you say to this person (your husband), “Why don’t you stop and ask for directions.” And he says, “No, I can find it.” And then you end up driving around in circles for another hour.
If only he had listened to you.
Here’s the million dollar question. Why didn’t he stop and ask for directions? Well, it may be the same reason you don’t stop and ask for directions.
Sure, you stop and ask for directions when you are driving, but what about other places in your life? Are there places in your life you need direction but you don’t stop and ask.
Do you need direction with your daughter?
- You’re worried about your daughter, she doesn’t seem like herself. You don’t know what to do.
- Your daughter says things to you that you would never say to your mom. You hate that she talks to you that way but you have no idea how to stop her.
- You are still in shock after finding the drugs in her car. You find yourself obsessing about it constantly but you are frozen and have no idea what to do.
Do you need direction?
- Your marriage is not doing well. You fight all the time and you feel you are drifting apart. You don’t know what to do, so you just settle.
- You are not taking care of yourself and you don’t feel good. You have given up that you could ever be happy again.
- You want to do something meaningful with your life but it feels unrealistic. You feel something stirring inside of you but you tell yourself, “It is impossible.”
What if everything you longed for and hoped for was possible, if you just asked for directions.
It’s easy to see it in others. You see how absurd it is that your husband won’t ask for directions. You know that asking for directions saves time and eliminates unnecessary suffering.
What about you?
What blocks you from asking directions?
1. Your ego
You think you know or should know. You feel it is on your shoulders and it’s your job. It may be embarrassing to ask for help. What would others think of you? Perfectionism can creep in. You are supposed to get everything right. You can’t admit that you don’t know, because then others would see that you are not perfect. The perfectionist would rather drive around in circles for decades, rather than ask for help.
2. Shame
This is closely related to number one. You think you should know but you know that you don’t. The mean voice rides in and belittles you. “What’s wrong with you? You are a terrible mother? Why can’t you get it together?” The voice is so mean that you feel like you have been tackled by a 500 pound sumo wrestler. It knocks the wind out of you. It is too painful to admit that you need help.
3. Resignation
You settle for less and less in life. You feel this is realistic, given where you are in life. You make very good excuses for being absolutely miserable. You truly believe that things won’t change. Bottom line you have lost faith and given up hope.
4. You think it’s too late
Because you don’t know how to do something, doesn’t mean that you can’t learn how. That is why there are teachers. Teachers love to teach what they love. Sure if you want to lose weight you are not going to lose it over night.
I have a client named Jane that I am so proud of. She had terrible shame about her weight. Her weight was affecting her quality of life. She had trouble going up stairs and would get out of breath quickly. Jane was tired of not being able to go on vacations with her husband. She hired me as her therapist/ coach and asked for directions. There was a treadmill in her home and she decided that she would get on the treadmill one minute a day. Well 2 weeks later she had worked up to seventeen minutes a day and started weightwatchers with her friend. She is going to California with her husband at the end of the month.
Don’t let your ego, shame or resignation stop you. Wherever you need help or wherever you are stuck there is someone who can help you.
Successful people stop and ask for directions. They don’t waste their time driving around in circles; they hire people to teach them shortcuts.