Don’t Miss It
Last night I was in the middle of something when my daughter came into the room and said let’s go watch a movie. I said “Give me 15 minutes.” She said back to me, “You know Mom I will be gone to college in a year. You better make the most of our time.” I thought, “OK, That’s a little dramatic.” But the more I thought about it she was right. The thing I was working on could wait. This was more important.
I want to make the most of my time with my daughter.
My daughter wanted to hang out with me. That’s huge. There will be plenty of times she needs her space or wants to be with her friends. But last night we sat on the sofa, got the blankets out and watched an old movie. We playfully fought over who was going to cuddle with Katie our schnauzer, or Pumpkin our puppy.
This simple moment will help us get through the stress of the end of the year events. It was the calm before the storm, but I didn’t miss it. Next week we won’t be chilling on the sofa.
Today I was walking up the steps to my back door and I stopped. I took a deep breath. I looked at the orange and red flowers on my hibiscus plants. How many times have I walked up these steps? I just took a moment to recall my daughter’s words.
“Only one more year… “
Wow. It really does go by fast. But right now I fully embraced this moment. I have a beautiful daughter who is finishing up her junior year in High School.
You may have daughters finishing 8th grade or have a daughter graduating from college.
Don’t miss this time!
You can miss this time for so many reasons.
1. You are too busy. I almost missed the time with my daughter because I was trying to get work done. You disconnect from the present moment because your mind is focusing on how to get the next thing done. And when you disconnect from the present moment, you miss the gift right in front of you.
2. You are preoccupied. You don’t have to be busy on the outside to be preoccupied. Being preoccupied is having a busy mind. Your mind is jammed with thoughts that take you out of the present moment.
- You worry your daughter is not going to pass Chemistry and that’s all you can think about.
- You’re consumed with work. They are talking about layoffs and you worry if your job is secure.
- You can’t believe your daughter talked to you that way. She has been acting weird lately. You worry about what she’s up to.
- You feel let down by your husband. You feel taken advantage of. You don’t feel appreciated.
3. You miss the importance. On paper you value a good relationship with your daughter, but you forget this day to day. Tasks become your priority.
- You want to make sure the house and yard are in order.
- You want to get caught up at work.
- You make sure your daughter is studying and doing her chores.
- You need to exercise.
- You need to run to the grocery store.
- You need to do the bills and be on top of the paper work.
You feel you need to get the tasks done before you have the luxury of hanging out with your daughter. Let your daughter teach you. She knows the value of hanging out. She is an expert at this.
Remember your relationship with your daughter is a priority. It’s what you really want. Don’t get caught in the trap of the tyranny of the to-do’s.
“I ask my daughter to do things and she says no.”
Yes and that is normal. But look for the times she reaches out to you. It won’t be on your timetable. In fact it may be inconvenient. But this is your opportunity.
This school year is winding down. Before you get all wrapped up in summer, take some time to reflect. Your daughter will no longer be in the ____ grade of middle school or high school.
You have been given this gift of time with your daughter and it is sacred. Take time to feel that. Yes there were struggles from the past year. There were times you couldn’t wait for the year to end but still it is a blessing to have this time with her. I walk with clients who have had loved ones pass away this past year. They would do anything to see them again. They would be grateful for any time with them, even the hard and frustrating times.
This time with your daughter really goes by quick. Embrace it all. Don’t miss it.
Take one hour and spend time reflecting on this past year with your daughter. What are you grateful for? What are some of your special moments? What did both you and she learn?