Tired of the Same Old Story: 7 Key Elements to Help You Live Your BIG Story
Are you tired of the same old story? What does this mean?
It means you are tired of having your life repeat the same ‘story’ over and over again. You feel trapped in a story you don’t even want. It feels like everyone else is in charge of the story but you. This is not the story you dreamed about when you were a girl. In fact you are disappointed, sad, frustrated, and angry that you are NOT in the story you were meant to live. This story includes your partner (or lack of partner), daughter, friends, children, work and any other aspect of your life.
Are you tired of YOUR same old story?
The ‘same old story’ is the small story of your life. It tends to show up when you are worried, upset, disappointed, exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed. You may feel like you dealt with this story a long time ago. You even went to therapy about it. But there it is showing up one more time.
Sometimes we are so in our small story (like a fish in water) we don’t even know we are in it. When we are truly hooked in our small story there does not feel like there is a way out because the story feels completely true.
Small Story Examples:
- No one appreciates me
- No one cares
- I don’t matter
- My happiness doesn’t matter
- Nothing will change
- My family walks all over me
- I have to make it through the teenage years
- It never works out
- Nothing I do is going to change anything
- I let everyone down or everyone else lets me down
- I’m not a good enough…
- Resigning-This is my life I have to deal with it
The good news is you don’t have to be stuck with your small story. Your small story has been with you for a long time and is backed up with plenty of neural pathways.
Your small story limits you and hinders you from the higher story that is meant for you and your family. The small story is not the whole story.
In fact, the small story is not even true though we spend a lifetime gathering evidence to back up a story we don’t even want.
Girlfriend, give up the small story. This does not have to be your future story. There is another story that is incredibly more powerful than your small story and this is your BIG STORY.
7 Key Elements to Help You Live Your BIG Story
1. Starts with grace. You start with giving kindness, compassion, forgiveness and grace towards yourself. Vulnerability and imperfection comes with being human. Go easy on yourself.
You will fall back into the same old story. We all do. But you don’t have to stay there. The way out is grace.
2. Know your small story. It is very helpful to know what your small story is. Name it and be playful with it. So next time the perfect storm comes and you start sinking into your small story, you will remember this is only the ‘small story’ and you will be able to regain your ground.
3. Reconnect with your heart and soul. Where have you given up? Have you given up on a relationship? Have you given up on your daughter? Have you given up on being happy or enjoying your life? Have you given up on finding work that matters to you?
Often where we have lost hope is really what we most desperately want. We want a good relationship with our husband and daughter. We want to have more time for our friends. We want to have fun again. We want to serve the world in a bigger way.
4. Take responsibility for your story. When you are in your small story it is easy to blame others or feel like a victim of your own story. You think things like, “My life would be fine if my daughter wouldn’t give me such an attitude.” “I would be happy if my husband would get a better job and take care of the finances.” “I am not going to even try talking to her, she won’t listen to me.”
We have a part in creating the story. You are ‘writing a story’ by the way you interpret circumstances or peoples words, gestures and actions.
This is good news. Because if you created your small story it’s possible for you to create a story that you really do want.
5. Letting go of the small story makes room for the BIG story.
If your head is always thinking about the small story there is no room for the BIG story. If you want the BIG story you have to let go of the small story.
Letting go is incredibly hard, even if we are miserable. There is a fear in letting go. The same old story has kept us company for a long time.
What will happen if I let go?
Amazing things can happen. This is where you need to dig deeper. Do you really want to hold onto your small story? What if you were really meant to have the desires in your heart?
What if the longing in your heart is really a compass that will lead you to the BIG STORY?
6. Opening to a bigger story. It starts with believing there is a bigger story and that life really can change. One thing I know having been a therapist for over 20 years is that people really can change and create new stories for their lives.
You can create a new story. You really do matter more than you will ever know. There is a power in you that can change everything.
You are part of a bigger story. You may call this love, purpose, universe, higher power, or the Divine. I simply call it God. When you open to this Story– you change, relationships change and the world can change.
7. Receiving Support. I don’t know what I would do without the supportive people in my life who give me grace when I am in my small story and help me see the way out. I know I need extra support. I have invested in a Mentor for the past 4 years and because of her and the group of amazing women in my coaching group I have been able to live my BIG story. I never could have done it without them.
If you need help changing your story, email me and ask me about my coaching programs.