Creating a New Tradition: 5 Ways to Feel Centered, Focused and Joyful Over the Holidays Part 2 (Make sure you read Part 1)
It is supposed to be the most Wonderful Time of the Year. Our expectations are super high.
It is definitely the busiest time of the year. When you combine super high expectations with exhaustion you are set up for disappointment.
So create a new tradition.
Be Kind to Yourself
1. Watch out for the shame hammer.
When you are stressed, exhausted and wanting to get it right, you are at risk for the shame hammer.
The shame hammer beats you up, with all sort of mean things you say to yourself. It beats you up for ridiculous things.
I’m a complete loser. I can’t fit into my jeans. I shouldn’t have eaten 3 pieces of pumpkin pie.
I am a complete failure. I didn’t send out my Christmas cards on time.
I am the worst mother. My daughter made a C on her Chemistry test.
I am the only one that’s not together. I haven’t finished decorating the Christmas tree…oh yeah–I haven’t finished shopping.
No one appreciates me. My daughter is only nice to me when I take her shopping.
I don’t matter to my husband. If I did, he would have bought me a really nice Christmas gift instead of a gift card to Macy’s.
I’m completely miserable. Everyone hates me in my family.
***There is going to be relational stress. Remember your family members are stressed too. Knowing this can help you not take it personal.
Instead of beating yourself up because you have lost it with your kids or your partner, turn it around by setting an intention to enjoy your family.
2. Be kind to yourself by taking care of you.
Make sure you are eating healthy, getting rest, and continuing to exercise. This is crucial to enjoying your holidays. Don’t skip the basics that keep you healthy.
Take small steps. Take a fifteen minute nap. Walk around the block.
When you are stuck in overdrive, try taking 5 minutes to get centered and quiet.
Keep your light shining. When you are exhausted the light of you gets snuffed out.
3. If you are in a difficult season in your life. Be kind to yourself by listening to what your body, heart, mind and spirit need.
You may not have the energy to do anything holiday-ish and that’s ok. You may need more time alone or be with a trusted close friend. Give yourself permission to break all the holiday rules and expectations.
Hold On To the Little Joys
I remember when my daughter was 4 and my whole extended family gathered together to sing Christmas songs. This was such an awesome moment to experience us enjoying each other and connected. It really was the most wonderful time of the year– moment.
5 minutes later my daughter had a meltdown.
And I think that’s how it goes in life and especially during the holidays. There are lots of good moments and then someone in your family (maybe you) has a meltdown.
The “most wonderful time of year” has good, hilarious, stressed, tense, frustrated, and sad moments. There is a huge smorgasbord of moments.
Remember the good moments and hold on to the Little Joys and let the rest go.
What would happen if you took the pressure off of having 24 /7 holiday bliss and just looked for the Little Joys?
Find gratitude in the small things. Find the humor in the predictability of family factors. Even if there is a meltdown- the next moment could be a Little Joy.
Remember the Little Joys…This holiday season forget the stress and keep a journal of all your Little Joys.