7 Ways to Get Your “I Feel Good” Energy Back
Women are exhausted! I mean really exhausted.
I have been hearing this lately from women everywhere. I have heard it from women who have been on my retreats, my friends, my therapy clients, and mothers from my coaching programs.
Women get this message that we are supposed to do it all and do it all by ourselves. So we put our heads down and try to plow through the mountain of tasks, which result in us being more depleted and discouraged. Women end up believing they are failures because they can’t get it all done.
Women are good at being busy. We are good at pushing through. We are good at working through our list. We are good at doing what we need to do. We are good at giving.
But we are not good at recharging our good energy.
7 Ways to Get Your “I Feel Good” Energy Back
1. Avoid Default Patterns
Default patterns are where we automatically go when we are depleted. The problem is, these patterns will make it worse.
a. Default Pattern #1. When we are exhausted we want someone to rescue us.
This makes sense because we have no good energy.
We tell our friends how exhausted we are. We tell our kids how much we have sacrificed for them. We tell our husbands how much we have to do.
Somewhere inside of us we think that we if we tell them how exhausted we are, that they will make it all better. We have our Disney fantasy that someone will sweep us up out of our misery and bring us to a happy land of flowers and butterflies. But your friends, kids, or husband are not going to rescue you, they will either tell you how busy they are or get defensive.
b. Default Pattern #2. You want to escape to a deserted beach.
You fantasize about getting away from your kids or from the pressure. Your focus is on escaping instead of recharging your good energy. You fantasize about getting away but you don’t do anything about it. If you need a break, then plan a vacation with the intention of recharging your good energy.
Other ways we escape is by drinking alcohol. I had a mother tell me in tears that she had been drinking too much. She found that when she drank alcohol she raged at her daughter. The next morning she felt so ashamed of her behavior.
It is too easy when we are exhausted to have an extra glass or two or three of wine. This will not recharge your good energy.
2. It’s up to you
Here is the good news and bad news. It’s up to you. No one is going to rescue you. You can let go of being resentful of the people in your life who are not making you feel better. This usually drains you more.
The shortcut to getting your “I feel good” energy back is to not depend on other people to give it to you.
It’s up to you. Claim it girlfriend.
Take 100 percent responsibility for recharging your “I feel good” energy. You are the one that knows when you are depleted of the good energy.
3.”How do I know if I need to recharge my ‘I Feel Good’ energy?”
Here is a simple test. Do you feel good?
Do you enjoy your days and your family? Do you feel rested? Do you have more positive emotions than negative emotions? Are you at peace? Are there things in your life you look forward to?
If you said yes to these questions then you have the “I feel good” energy.
Or are you dreading the day? Do you feel like a failure? Are you disappointed with most people in your life? Are your interactions with your daughter draining and full of drama?
Bottom line if you don’t feel good, it’s time to recharge your “I feel good” energy.
4. Predicting when you need some extra “I feel good” energy
Mothers pour out their good energy all the time but there are times when you give more than normal.
Instead of putting your head down and plowing through it, try predicting when you are going to need to recharge.
There are times when…
* you pour out good energy for fun events. I just hosted a formal dinner party for my daughters 16th birthday. I decided to clear out Monday so I could rest and relax at home after a busy weekend.
*you pour out good energy for work. If you go out of town for work give yourself a day when you return to catch up with your life.
*you pour out good energy for difficult seasons. Especially in stressful situations like a loved one in the hospital you need to be intentional about recharging your good energy because you are giving so much.
5. Avoid all or nothing thinking
I can’t recharge my good energy, my family needs me. I don’t have time. That’s selfish.
It’s not all or nothing thinking. “If I pay attention to me then I am not paying attention to my family” is all or nothing thinking.
You can pay attention to you and pay attention to your family.
In fact, when you recharge your good energy your family will benefit from your good energy.
6. “What would recharge my good energy?”
This is an important question to ask yourself.
Do you need a full night’s sleep?
Do you need to start exercising again?
Do you need an afternoon to do nothing?
Would you like a massage?
Would you like a retreat?
Would you like to feel pampered?
Would you like to spend an evening with your girlfriends?
Sometimes my clients will say, “I do things for myself. I get my nails done.”
My question for that client is, “does that recharge your good energy?”
If it does great, but what else is missing? What are you not getting?
7. Schedule it.
Once you are clear about what will recharge your “I feel good” energy, then you need to schedule it. Schedule it like you would any other appointment. Protect this time. It will not only benefit you but will benefit your family.